


To The Sea

by remy71923



Series: Modern Love [5]
Category: Black Widow (Comics), Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, F/M, Family Fluff, Minor Character Death, References to Drugs, Romantic Fluff, Teen Pregnancy, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-16
Updated: 2019-12-16
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:14:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21819535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/remy71923/pseuds/remy71923
Summary: In her own grief and in his own heartbreak, they found each other, but they thought it had been a bad idea. When the bad idea turned out to be good, they realized that while their love had started out as low and quiet, it was also one of the most powerful ones they could hold on to through the tragedies of their respective lives.Inspired by Tiny Love Stories: 'Out of the Darkness, Into the Sea' from the Modern Love Section of the New York Times.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Natasha Romanov
Series: Modern Love [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1533998
Comments: 3
Kudos: 99





	To The Sea

Steve Rogers had been everything she didn’t think was going to work.

But they had been admittedly pretty good together. She couldn’t deny that, because they looked  _ really,  _ physically good together. Steve was the star of the football team in their high school, the quarterback and part of the most popular kids in their school. Natasha, on the other hand, was the captain of the cheerleading team, the best one the school has ever had in their history of cheerleading teams, as what their coach had said, and was also part of the most popular cliques in their school. They’re both very attractive, both of them capturing the attentions of both men and women (yes, applicable to  _ either _ one of them individually) in their school, student or not.

They were also very good friends too. Because get this: even if Steve Rogers was one of the most popular kids in high school, who happened to be held in such a high regard in terms of prestige and social hierarchy in their school, he was also the definition of what a dumb jock was. He hadn't been doing  _ too _ well in his academics, struggling with math, science and even history and literature. The only class he ever excelled in on his own was art (and to be fair, he  _ is _ pretty good at it), but even then, he was the pretty accurate epitome of a dumb jock in the rest of his other classes. It’s usually where Natasha came in, because on top of her natural charm, beauty and grace that she embodied as a cheerleader, she was also one of the top students in the school, an intellectual at best, and so she had taken it upon herself to help one of her friends who are in need of tutoring. It had been the foundation of their friendship, the tutoring (and for Steve’s part, him helping her in art class) that eventually blossomed into one of the most beautiful friendships there is.

But they weren't romantically involved.  _ No, _ not at all, because like she said: they were  _ everything _ she didn’t think was going to work in a romantic relationship.

Steve, in the whole entirety of high school, had only gotten the chance to date one woman: Peggy Carter, two years above him, whom he dated before the start of his sophomore year. In great contrast to Natasha and Matt’s relationship, their relationship was everyone’s favorite talk. Peggy Carter was part of the student council when they started dating, and Steve had been dubbed as one of their school’s freshest players in the football team. Everyone’s eyes were on them: the school’s power couple who share their kisses in public, who wear their fights on their sleeves, and who do things together as a couple in accordance to how they want them to act.

Which was probably why it never worked in the end, especially when Peggy moved back to London after she graduated from high school, and he’s only about to enter junior year. Steve refused a long-distance relationship, practically begging Peggy to stay in America for university. After that, the whole school had been with Steve in begging Peggy to stay in America just so the school’s power couple would not break. Because of the overwhelming amount of attention and pressure, Peggy had decided to break it off, and Steve was single since then.

Their love had been a high drama, their relationship a high profiled one, and Steve didn’t think he could ever replicate another one like that anymore.

Natasha, on the other hand, was dating Matt Murdock. He was also one of the top students in the school, a charming and smart captain of the debate team. They had been dating since they entered high school, and everyone loved them because of how adorable they generally are. They did their best in keeping their relationship as low profile as they can get, not involving themselves into the limelight of romantic relationships in their high school by keeping their fights to themselves and their kisses in private. Everyone knew they were together, but they give the rest of the school minimal to  _ no _ chance at all in allowing a glimpse of their relationship. They kept themselves pretty private that way.

Their love, unlike Steve and Peggy’s, had not been a high drama, their relationship a low profile and almost secret one, but it seemed that there were more secrets involved in the relationship that not even Natasha knew.

Because she woke up one morning to the call of Matt Murdock’s mother, telling her that he had died. The love of her life died. She thought they would make it, that they would end up together in the end. But he died, and he died of a heroin overdose, when Natasha never even knew he was an addict, never even  _ knew _ he was using even on occasion. So when he died so unexpectedly during early junior year, Natasha was a firm believer that love had officially left her life for good.

And in her grief, and in Steve’s own heartbreak, somehow they found each other.

They have always been close friends as they belonged in the same clique, but for some reason after Matt’s death, he had been the first one there for her. He was the one who comforted her in her grieving times, held her when she cried, offered a shoulder to lean on while crying, and bought her ice cream to cheer her up. He was the one who listened when Natasha told him stories, recounting of her memories with Matt and grieving over them. He was the one who stayed up until early morning just listening to her sob and cry and tell him stories over the phone, and he had been the one she would call just to accompany her in breaks, even in silence, where she would just rest her head on his shoulder, and he would read a book for their literature class.

The last bit helped. It enabled her to talk about things other than Matt, allowing her mind to wander off somewhere to focus on other than her grief. He had been reading The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath to her, a book assigned to them to read and analyze, and it had been one of their central discussions that helped ease Natasha’s grief and pain.

“I think it’s interesting, how one of the minor themes portrayed here is Esther’s anxiety about death,” Steve said, and Natasha hummed, her eyes closed as she nestled her face further in Steve’s chest, his hand unconsciously falling to rest on her hip, his thumb brushing on the waistband of her sweatpants. “Although you have to look closely into it, there were instances where Esther felt so incapacitated most of the time that she fails to take into account her surroundings because she’s trapped in her own mind.”

_ “Under the same glass bell jar stewing, in my own sour air,”  _ Natasha recited, and Steve hummed, looking down as she opened her eyes and looked up at him. “Coming from a sense of suffocating isolation, probably, since it’s very clear how she struggled to open herself up in the real world because of society’s expectations for a woman like her and who she actually is, and who she wants to be.” She gave him a small smile. “She retreats more within herself as the bell jar is covered tightly over her.”

“Thus, the title.” Steve said, and Natasha hummed in agreement.

“You’re getting good at this.” she told him quietly, and he smiled.

“Couldn’t have done it without you, you know,” he said, and it’s true. The year was almost ending, and they were set to write their final term paper on The Bell Jar to be submitted in a few days’ time on their last day in junior year. “You helped me through it.”

Natasha gave him a small smile, nudging his shoulder gently with hers. “You helped me too,” she said softly, and he smiled. “You helped me through it.”

In her own grief and his heartbreak, they found each other, found a sort of mutual understanding about each other that helped in deepening their friendship and platonic love for each other. Even in their brokenness, they were still there for each other, and most especially helped each other as much as they could, as much as their hearts would allow them. They still let each other thrive and grow, and they were both thankful for each other because of it.

So why did she think they weren’t going to work?

Because that had all been the foundation of their newfound understanding and love: grief and heartbreak. That same evening they ended their discussion on The Bell Jar, they consummated that newfound love and understanding in his own bedroom. She stayed with him through the night while he held her, and the following morning, they never spoke about it, because they probably knew. While they did find love and understanding over the course of the year where the universe decided to screw their personal lives over, they knew it had been founded on the need for someone else in replacement for the ones they’ve lost.

They weren’t going to work. What they had would be a recipe for an impending disaster, and they couldn’t afford to lose more if they tried.

But one evening during their summer break before their senior year, she called him, asking if she can crash for that night. She told him she was pregnant with his child, the pregnancy a result of the night they spent together when they found understanding and love with each other. Her parents had kicked her out, disowned her and left her to fend for herself, and she had asked if she could stay with him until she could find a permanent place of her own once she finds a part-time job to support herself.

“You don’t have to go anywhere,” he told her. His own thoughts surprised him, but he couldn’t restrain himself from saying these thoughts out loud. “You can stay here. Stay with me.”

It’s his child, he reasoned out. Whether she would decide to keep it or not, he would be there, like how he had always been there for her through everything else they had gone through. She was reluctant to accept the offer, telling him he had no duty nor responsibility over her, and he  _ shouldn’t _ feel responsible for her either. She didn’t think of aborting the baby, but she had been deciding whether or not she’ll be keeping it or putting it up for adoption, so he didn’t have to do anything for her. But he had been persistent, and he told his mother, Sarah Rogers, of the situation, and thank goodness she was more understanding and accepting than Natasha’s parents had been and agreed wholeheartedly to take Natasha in.

The Rogers weren’t well-off and rich. Steve had lost his father as a child, so his mother had done her best as a nurse to work and make meets end for her and her son. Natasha felt guilty knowing this, felt like an additional burden for her to carry now that she had been decidedly part of the family, as Sarah started treating her like her own daughter. So over the course of the summer break and even as school started, she took up part-time jobs and gigs, now finding herself with more free time after leaving the cheerleading team because of her pregnancy. Occasionally, she would also take up babysitting gigs, earning her more money and at the same time, allowing her to experience how it’s like to take care of children. She offered to do chores for Sarah as well, if only to make herself less of a burden, and even offered her the money she had earned from her part-time gigs as payment for her stay, but she gently declined it.

“That money is yours,  _ you _ were the one who worked for it,” she told Natasha. “You will need it to buy whatever you want for yourself and for the baby.”

Steve had also took in more part-time gigs during the summer break, some of which he still maintained even as school started as he balanced all of those with studies and football trainings. The money he had earned was used to pay for Natasha’s doctor appointments, even if Natasha had insisted she was going to take care of it as she herself had also accumulated enough money from her own part-time gigs. But he had been as stubborn as she was, and still insisted on paying for all of these things to make her feel better and more comfortable. She eventually conceded during her second month of staying with the Rogers.

They still went to school even if Natasha had been reluctant to return because of her pregnancy (and how afraid she was of what people might think of her, ever since she laid herself off of cheerleading). But fortunately for them, nothing much had changed. Natasha, while she wasn’t on the cheerleading team anymore still hung out with her friends in her own clique (who made her promise to make them the baby’s godmothers) while Steve still maintained his quarterback position, only this time both of them balanced their academics with some extra part-time gigs to earn more money. But Natasha had seen Steve work and do his best to balance it all, and she was proud to say he did it well, being a good student, a good player all while ensuring Natasha’s and the baby's health and happiness.

The people talked, of course, and while they were aware that they had become the new spectacle of their high school, they found that they didn’t care. They were still friends after all, friends who had deep trust, understanding and love for each other, and shared so many things together, including a child growing inside of Natasha. Steve would still turn to Natasha for any help in any classes, and Natasha would willingly help him. Natasha would still call him during their downtime, and he would read to her and the baby, and afterwards they talk about anything and everything under the sun, all while their hands are joined together resting on her belly, over their child.

Over time, as Natasha felt their baby inside of her grow, she couldn’t help but also feel the love she had for Steve grow with it as well. He had been the one who held her hand every time they would be over at the doctor’s, bought her the food she would crave for and the necessary vitamins and milk she and the baby would need. He would massage her feet and her back, would listen to her stories and would tell a share of his own, would talk and sing to the baby in her belly when she couldn’t sleep because of the kicks. He would kiss her and their baby good night, with her permission, as she amusingly noted, that seemed silly because they had  _ definitely _ already gone beyond kissing (thus, baby), and he would also kiss her good morning before going down to help his mother cook breakfast.

As time passed, it grew increasingly harder for Natasha to ignore the love she has for him. It increased so exponentially when they found out they were having a baby boy—they were having a son.

Neither of them eever had a preference for their baby’s gender, never even  _ thought _ so much about it, but when the doctor told them they were going to have a baby boy, Natasha had cried out of complete bliss and happiness. Steve had felt the exact same happiness too, giving her a kiss and whispering a small “thank you” to her before he silently wiped away the tears that had fallen from his eyes, a symbol of his complete bliss and hope ever since Peggy's departure and his own heartbreak. At that moment, he felt his heart being mended, slowly but surely, his heart was being fixed. And for Natasha, it was as if learning that they were going to have a son, became a light to her tunnel, a guide for her out of the darkness and into the free sea where she would be free to live and to love. It was a breath of fresh air, and of renewed hope, and for the first time since Matt’s death, she was completely and utterly happy and most definitely, in love. 

She told him this that same evening of their doctor’s appointment, when they were getting ready in bed and she was waiting for him to lie down beside her on his queen-sized bed. He laid a hand on her five-and-a-half-month pregnancy bump, and she laid her hand on top of his.

“Steve,” she said his name so softly, her voice barely above a whisper. He looked at her, his blue eyes wide and shining and waiting for her, and for the first time since learning earlier that day they were having a son, she wished he would get his eyes—his blue eyes so beautiful and captivating that looking at it would just make her heart skip a beat. She smiled at him as she inched herself closer to him. “I love you.”

It was the first time she said it, the first time she  _ admitted _ it out loud. He never said it, either, never uttered those three words, but for her, he didn’t need to. She felt it. She had felt the love he had for her since the day he willingly took her in. She felt the love he had for her in every look, every smile, every touch and every laugh he would give her. She had hoped she gave him the same kind of love, but she had doubted it, so she decided to say it out loud for herself, in case he still didn’t know yet.

He gave her a beautiful smile, his eyes sparkling with love and pure happiness as he looked at her. “I know,” he replied softly, and he rubbed his nose against hers as she smiled and hummed. “I love you too.”

“I know.” she replied, before giving him a soft kiss on the lips, before they turned in for the night holding each other.

She turned eighteen a few weeks after they found out they were having a son, and she decided she wanted to spend her birthday with Steve. Sarah had bought her a cake, one that they had for breakfast, before she took off for nurse duty at the hospital. They spent the morning taking a walk in the park, and the rest of the day just in the house, making out or cuddling or watching a movie.

It’s an uneventful birthday, but she was spending it with the man she loved, so who was she to complain?

By dusk, he took her hand and the two of them went up to the rooftop of the apartment building, telling her they should watch the sunset together. They sat on a bench there, just holding each other, while they watched the sky turn from bright yellow to a beautiful orange hue. He took that moment to get up from his seat, while she groaned at the lack of his body beside her.

“I’ve always loved watching the sunset, you know,” he told her, turning back and smiling gently at her. “It’s always so beautiful, always so...hopeful. It’s like telling you that another day is over, and whatever you had been set to do for the day, you’ve done it beautifully even when you didn’t feel like it.” His smile widened, and Natasha felt her heart stop for a moment because of how beautiful he looked. “I like this one better than sunrise.”

She smiled up at him, and he ducked his head as he let out a soft chuckle. “I don’t know how to do this, nor how these things usually work,” he said, and he faced her, kneeling down on one knee as he pulled out a small velvet box from his pocket, and she gasped, her eyes slowly filling with tears as she covered her mouth with a hand. “But I’m gonna do it anyway, hoping I could just wing it.”

“Steve,” she sobbed, as he took her hand and she squeezed it lightly. She wiped her eyes with her free hand and shook her head. “Steve, you don’t have to do this. You don’t have to do this just ‘cause we’re having a kid.”

“I know I don’t have to, but I want to,” he told her softly, his eyes filled with  _ so _ much love it’s overwhelming and scary yet so warm and so good. “I want to marry you because I love you. I want to marry you, Nat, if you’d allow me to.” He let go of his hand so he can open the small box, containing a simple yet beautiful gold ring with a small diamond in the middle. “Ma gave me this. It was hers, and when...when I told her what I wanted to do, she told me I can give this to you, that you can have this.”

It's a beautiful ring, one so precious and so sentimental Natasha felt that maybe she shouldn't deserve it. But she had pushed that voice away inside her head telling her she didn't deserve it, and instead focused on that _one_ clear voice of the man she loved.

“I love you, Natasha Romanoff. I love you, and I love our son, and I want to spend the rest of my life proving that,” he told her, and despite the tears, she smiled. “Will you marry me?”

“Yes.” she whispered, nodding, as he grinned ever so widely, letting out a soft laugh as he took the ring from the box and put it in her finger. She leaned down to capture his lips on hers, murmuring against his mouth how much she loved him.

They got married the following Monday early morning in City Hall, with his mother and Natasha’s best friend as witnesses, and celebrated with a giant cake from the local bakery afterwards, skipping school to celebrate their newfound love that was now built on love. The witnesses had been sworn to secrecy, so nobody in school knew they were married, as they both wore their rings on necklaces under their shirts. Outside school, they would wear it, on doctor’s appointments, on afternoon and evening dates and on their part-time gigs, they would wear it proudly on their fingers.

Natasha smiles as she remembers all of these from five years ago. She rests her palms on the sand behind her back, and laughs softly when she sees her little boy laughing while running towards his father as Steve crouches and catches their son in his arms, picking him up and pressing a kiss on his forehead. Steve walks them to the edge of the shore, where the sea meets the sand in every passing wave, as their son wiggles his feet. Steve puts him down and he laughs when a wave crashes, wetting his small legs and navy blue shorts.

Their son, James Rogers, is a beautiful little boy, born one cold morning in February. He had inherited his mother’s dark red hair, and his father’s beautiful shining blue eyes. He is his parents’ joy, their pride and their love, but most especially, he had been their own symbol of hope, where he had served as a light to guide the both of his parents to each other; out of the darkness, and into the vast sea of love and light. He was never difficult, always so quiet, sweet and happy especially around his Mommy, around Natasha, who had so deeply fallen in love with his little boy the moment she heard his cries after giving birth to him.

After high school and after having their son, they pursued college, with Natasha earning an academic scholarship to pursue Psychology at Columbia University and Steve earning a football scholarship at New York University while he pursued Urban Design and Architectural Studies. They still worked to earn money even as they were studying, allowing them to raise their son on their own once they moved out of Steve’s mother’s home and got their own small place in Manhattan, which is halfway between the two universities.

Natasha worked hard to finish her degree in three years so she could work and take care of their son, while Steve finished until his fourth year, ever since he learned that he also had his own monetary allowance from the university for representing his college in football, allowing him to support his own small family using that as well.

They did their best to make ends meet, and while not everyday in their young marriage had been perfect, they still made it work. At the end of it all, their efforts have definitely paid off.

“Go to Mommy, go to Mommy.” Natasha snaps out of her thoughts upon hearing her husband’s voice, and her smile widens when she spots their son running toward her, giggling and laughing that even after all these years, it still makes her heart flutter and leap with joy and immense love.

“There’s my little boy,” Natasha says, stretching her arms towards her son as he crashes into her arms, and she pulls her four-year-old to her lap, pressing soft kisses on his face as the little boy squirms and giggles, snuggling closer to his mother’s chest. “Having fun with Daddy in the sea, hm?”

“Cold water!” James exclaims, and Natasha chuckles, rubbing her nose with his. She looks up and smiles when she finds Steve walking over to them, sitting beside her as he presses a soft kiss on the side of her head.

“He loves the sea so much,” Steve says lightly, ruffling their son’s red hair, as the little boy looked up at his father with wide sparkling eyes, leaning back to snuggle in between his parents, and Steve grins. “We should go out here more often, to the beach, just the three of us.”

Natasha hums, leaning up to press a kiss on her husband’s lips. “I think that’s a good idea,” she says softly, and he hums, pressing another kiss on her lips. “Maybe if we’d be allowed for more leaves at work.”

“Or we could just  _ not _ work,” Steve jokes, and Natasha chuckles, shaking her head as she rests her head on his shoulder, and he wraps an arm around his wife’s shoulder, pulling his family close to him. “Promise me we’ll have more of this soon.”

“You know we will,” Natasha replies lightly, and Steve smiles as he presses a kiss on her head, resting his head on hers as they watch the sunset together. “We have all the time in the world.”

Steve and Natasha’s marriage is not at all the most exciting and extraordinary one there is, nor was their love for each other in the first place. It had been quiet, but it had come  _ so _ quietly, so subtly they even doubted it ever came in the first place. Their love is not high drama, but the love for their baby boy is. Perhaps all the heartbreak and grief that they had gone through in the past—Matt’s death, Peggy’s departure—are the tragedies that allowed them to know the sound of their son’s voice laughter and giggles touching the sea. It allowed them to see his eyes shine in love, innocence and wonder for the world he has yet to explore with his parents, and of course, it allowed the couple to look at each other with love and hope in their own eyes.

“Nat?” Steve says, and Natasha hums in acknowledgment, not taking her eyes off the sunset going down to the sea. He smiles, closing his eyes as he tightens his arm around her. “I love you.”

Natasha smiles, feeling a flutter in her heart at hearing those words. It’s silly, how after five years of being together and having a child together, he still manages to have that effect on her. But she supposes this is what love  _ really _ feels like, what happiness really looked like, and for her, it takes the form of two boys in her life: one beautiful little redheaded boy snuggled in between his parents as he, too, watches the sun set, and one beautiful blonde and patient man who had helped pull her out of the darkness she had felt and into the vast sea of hope and life, all while she had unconsciously done the same for him too.

“I love you too, Steve.”


End file.
